3RD PLT "HELLFIRE" B CO 1-17INF



Fuck I miss my Hellfire Family. It sucks to sit here safe in the states when you know that on the other side of the world your boys are fighting it out with a shitload of shady bastards. Part of me knows that I need to be here to get better, but everything that I am wants to be back there fighting side by side with them. I clench my fists and teeth every time I get an email that we have lost more soldiers in 1-17.

I would risk it all up for anyone of them, even the fuckers that I don't give a shit about cuz you know that "WE" are all "WE" got out there. I sat here on Veterans Day and watched all the commercials "Thanking our Troops" with a free doughnut, blooming onion, cup of coffee or a free food from a limited menu. Don't get me wrong it is appreciated but what the fuck do you think that supports? How about send some stuff from our home to the Troops that need the support not the ones that sleep in a nice warm bed next to there loved ones, watching TV going to the store without body armor and no weapon. Every time I got a package I felt that someone gave a damn enough to pack a box and put my name on it. That was the best feeling out there, well besides "Chasing the Monkey".

If you would like to send something, anything you can send it to the following address.


SFC Dass, Zalmen
ATTN: Any 3rd PLT Soldier
B Co 1-17INF 5/2ID
FOB Frontenac
APO AE 09355


Or if you want to take it further check out this site Any Soldier
You could also send money to my PayPal account (gordon.woolley@gmail.com) and I will forward it on to them

I fight on a constant basis with getting myself, physically and mentally in line with my previous self. The crap that I am going through pisses me off cuz my brain knows where I was and what I am capable of but reality is I am not like that right now.

Back Story

On September 23rd my vehicle was a mobility kill due to a command wire IED. The explosion was directly under where I sit. The blast pushed me up out of my hatch where I was hit in the head with 2 MK19 Ammo Cans that cut loose from the side, each weigh approx 40lbs, and was pinned down in my seat. At first glance I was fine however later on that night I started to loose my balance and coordination. It got a shit ton worse over the next 1 - 2 weeks. I was diagnosed with TBI (Traumatic brain injury ) and sent to Germany then to the States for Rehab and Recovery.

Lately
I have turned into a nocturnal creature, I do not get tired until 0500 - 0600 and if I do pass out then I sleep/lay down for the entire day. I try meditation, just laying in bed, medication, shit I even broke a long streak and tried to drink some beer. I try Hot Milk and relaxation techniques. And FUCK it doesn’t work.

On top of all that I cannot go outside without sunglasses on day or night. Due to swelling that I have in both of my eyes. I continually have pain on and off in my neck (fractured C4/C5) and lower back and pain shooting though my hip and down my leg. I am not allowed to drive a car, I am escorted at work about 98% of the time. I walk around with ALL my paperwork every day because I might forget what I need.

It sucks because I am unable to do a lot of what I once did. I have even less patience with my kids once the euphoria wore off. It is funny that some little problems with you can cause you to think your life lacks direction and there is not a way to get it back. I fight that though on a daily basis, one thing I learned over my life is that you can change everything.

I am doing better with my memory, but it only seems to be in areas that hold some sort of interest for me. anything else is either gone or I recall vague high level overview. The headaches are triggered by random sights and sounds, I am also drawing a line between the sleep and stressful situations triggering headaches. I lay on the couch just about the entire time I am at home. I realized today that, From the outside looking in, I would put money on depression.

For the most part I am separated from my wife and kids, I will get in a mood or not feel good and they will give me space and go either upstairs, downstairs, or go outside. The next thing I know is they have been gone for a long while and the only time I spoke to them was to tell them to eat, clean up, or go to bed.

Something needs to break before I do, I start getting pent up aggression, and with past track records I am no the most subtle person sharing my feelings. That is why I decided to take the first step and start something here. I need to figure new ways to do shit till I get back to what I once was, If I can even do that.