Another day passed on gives birth to night

As the light is devoured alone I fight

To remember the sun upon my face

Trapped by the moon removed from grace

To fill me with lives unstoppable breath

So I may shake the heavens and transcend death

For we have built this home upon fertile earth

Predisposed to destruction since the moments of birth

We rose against all that increased gravity

To kill what we were for what we could be

Standing our ground we segregate the land

Twisting perception transcending what’s planned

Four I and the key we are as one

Replacing my life and my need for the sun

So I may survive this desolate place

To journey back home within loves embrace

For all of those who think that the world today is a linier path of chaos, destruction and shadow I will tell you that it is just the universe returning us to our true nature. I see the heaven that is offered to me by the religions, race promoting organizations and the Hollywood celebrities who think that there words hold more weight than everyone else. I do not buy into your fantasies. Life and death are two things that you cannot manipulate, the only thing you can do is try to prolong one and shorten the other. It is a hollow attempt to control something that is out of control. Life is not something that is given to us it is something that we connect to, it binds us all to each other. Most fail to realize how useless it is to try to build an empire so the world will take notice. Everyone wants to be famous, to have money, to never work again, whatever the reason to strive for success is a complete lie. Why do you believe you must accomplish x, y and z to have what you need or want?

I have read a few times and heard it in a few movies that “The human race is a disease”. At first I did not understand until I internalized it. We are an existence in the human body, our actions are the disease. We consume, destroy, alter, embed and multiply in virtually the same way as any disease and virus in our present day. The original action that has lead us to where we are was Selfishness. “I need to take care of myself first” is either a though or a statement that begins the end. Selfishness is why we don’t help the guy sitting on the corner begging for money; it is also why that same guy does not want to work and wants you to support that. It is why we are indifferent to others beliefs, values and ideas.

When was the last time you saw a large population come together to better each other with no expectations of repayment? After a Natural Disaster? After an Act of Terrorism? Why can we do it after the fact and not before? It is because we are separated and no one is emotionally connected until it is too late. That is why you have so many organizations spanning the globe to all do the same thing and still nothing is resolved. Wouldn’t it be nice when you are hungry you could just eat instead of trying to balance your budget and figure out how much food you can actually get while still being able to pay the rest of your bills. Why can we not live in a house without worrying about what the housing market is doing and what my home is worth? Why can we not get medical attention without the population being adversely effected? I don’t know why it is so hard for people to give freely of themselves, I do and I put myself in worse conditions for it, still I do it. I would rather let another eat while I go hungry. I would rather let another prosper while I live in substandard conditions. And why is that? It is because I know that what we do here has no bearing on true life. I see us as connected and I know the truth so why should you suffer. If I can raise you up than it is done.

I laugh because people think they live a life. They work more hours than not, have their children taught and raised by Schools, Day Care, TV and Video Games. Their marriage is a joint agreement and when they feel that agreement is not reached they terminate it. And when it is terminated then a battle for possessions begins. That is not life, and how often does it happen? I sacrifice myself for my family; I have done it many of times. I have waged war in their names. I have broken my body to provide for them and I will defend them with my life. And when I no longer breathe I will surround them, because we do not live by an agreement we live by a bond of the spirit. That is why we are still together; we do not fight over money or possessions because none of it changes our life together. We would be the same with or without. That is life, that is love, that is peace and that is why we are still together.

I do not just sacrifice myself for my family but for all life. I am not concerned for my safety or well being because I know I will be provided for. I am not helpless I am empowered, I have made a difference and I do not seek any reward or recognition. You are enough for me to keep going. And if you are changed by the actions of another you become obligated to return the favor to another not to look in pity or disgust. If you have the power to make the difference for someone why would you not?

We are called the richest and most powerful country and still less than 1% fight for it, less than that gives freely. The lesson will be learned, for some it will be hard and for some it will kill them but it will be learned none the less. I hope it comes easier for you. I am by no means perfect. I have shadows that I fight. But we as a people should make the change and stand together for our common good, Indifferent to race, religion and beliefs for our bodies are of the earth and that is where it returns.

I read now that you have found a voice, well I have one too and here is mine.

The issue is not with your religion it is not even with you. It is with the radicals that kill in the name of your religion. It is will the apparent complete disregard for the feelings of each person that still harbors the pain from that day. It is about the location you have chosen. If you are true in your attentions and do want to live in harmony then move the location. On top of all the crap that has been going on in the past 9 years, have enough foresight to see that it will not end well for anyone. That it will only fuel the already raging tension between our cultures. If you see no problem then let’s looks at other tasteless locations for buildings…

1. 1. Let’s put a Military installation across from the Mosque of the Prophet in Mecca
2. 2. Or build a Christian church near the Green Dome in Medina
3. 3. How about a LDS church next to The Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem
4. 4. Why not build a Timothy James McVeigh Chemistry Lab across from the Oklahoma City National Memorial.
5. 5. How about a Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto naval academy in front of Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam
6. 6. Or maybe a James Earl Ray school of sharpshooting just in view of the 2^nd floor balcony of room 306 at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis.
7. 7. You want a great place to put an Islamic Building how about in front of the Malcolm X and Dr. Betty Shabazz Memorial and Educational Center. Shit and that is Upper Manhattan not that far away.

If these locations were to ever think about building anything like that the implications alone would create a tremendous uproar, Especially if it was in Muslim areas. The Islamic culture would go on the offensive and scream about the disrespect and injustice that is being proposed. But when it is the Islamic culture to propose a plan in an inappropriate location suddenly it is disrespectful and an injustice to oppose. This has nothing to do with religion or culture, it has everything to do with complete disrespect. But the was that our laws are written it gives us nothing to stand on. If we are to rise up in defiance and defend our holy land we are viewed as wrong, disrespectful and intolerant Americans.

I heard that if it was known how effected the population would have been another location would have been chosen. The objections are loud and nothing is done. I also have been told that if we do not let it be done then there will be consequences. Let it be so and it will show the true nature of all our intentions.

I hear talks of tolerance no one tolerates disrespect. Instead why not talk about compassion, it works better for everyone.

(1)(a) Any person who has received notice that his or her behavior is interfering with the use of a dog guide or service animal who continues with reckless disregard to interfere with the use of a dog guide or service animal by obstructing, intimidating, or otherwise jeopardizing the safety of the dog guide or service animal user or his or her dog guide or service animal is guilty of a misdemeanor, except as provided in (b) of this subsection.

(b) A second or subsequent violation of this subsection is a gross misdemeanor.

(2)(a) Any person who, with reckless disregard, allows his or her dog to interfere with the use of a dog guide or service animal by obstructing, intimidating, or otherwise jeopardizing the safety of the dog guide or service animal user or his or her dog guide or service animal is guilty of a misdemeanor, except as provided in (b) of this subsection.

(b) A second or subsequent violation of this subsection is a gross misdemeanor.

(3) Any person who, with reckless disregard, injures, disables, or causes the death of a dog guide or service animal is guilty of a gross misdemeanor.

(4) Any person who, with reckless disregard, allows his or her dog to injure, disable, or cause the death of a dog guide or service animal is guilty of a gross misdemeanor.

(5) Any person who intentionally injures, disables, or causes the death of a dog guide or service animal is guilty of a class C felony punishable according to chapter 9A.20 RCW.

(6) Any person who wrongfully obtains or exerts unauthorized control over a dog guide or service animal with the intent to deprive the dog guide or service animal user of his or her dog guide or service animal is guilty of theft in the first degree, RCW9A.56.030.

(7)(a) In any case in which the defendant is convicted of a violation of this section, he or she shall also be ordered to make full restitution for all damages, including incidental and consequential expenses incurred by the dog guide or service animal user and the dog guide or service animal which arise out of or are related to the criminal offense.

(b) Restitution for a conviction under this section shall include, but is not limited to:

(i) The value of the replacement of an incapacitated or deceased dog guide or service animal, the training of a replacement dog guide or service animal, or retraining of the affected dog guide or service animal and all related veterinary and care expenses; and

(ii) Medical expenses of the dog guide or service animal user, training of the dog guide or service animal user, and compensation for wages or earned income lost by the dog guide or service animal user.

(8) Nothing in this section shall affect any civil remedies available for violation of this section.

(9) For purposes of this section, the following definitions apply:

(a) "Dog guide" means a dog that is trained for the purpose of guiding blind persons or a dog trained for the purpose of assisting hearing impaired persons.

(b) "Service animal" means an animal that is trained for the purposes of assisting or accommodating a disabled person's sensory, mental, or physical disability.

(c) "Notice" means a verbal or otherwise communicated warning prescribing the behavior of another person and a request that the person stop their behavior.

(d) "Value" means the value to the dog guide or service animal user and does not refer to cost or fair market value.

[2003 c 53 § 52; 2001 c 112 § 2.]

Please Read Till the End, It will not take long.

This is not any other “Help me help you”. This is a “Help Us Help Us”. We hold the power to heal the deepest wounds. We hold the power to grant a second chance at life for human and canine alike. Please assist me in making a change in countless lives.

My Goal is to raise enough money to complete the training and certifications I need to retrain bruised, battered and damaged dogs so they can be reintroduced back into society as a family pet or Therapy Dog. There are animals all over the country that have either gotten dealt a bad hand or turn up wandering around with nowhere to go. They do not disserve to rot away in some cage while being passed over for a new life. Animals tend to be sheltered indefinitely and adoption services are limited. My goal is to either completely change that reality or at least give most of the animals a more desirable set of abilities.

As on TV people ask to send money to some country to help some family living in some shack. What do most people do? They send money while we step-over people in this country, we turn a blind eye to the damage that is done here. We don’t have to, we can help each other, and we can all heal together.

My story, so you know who I am, is that I am in the United States ARMY. I was wounded in Afghanistan in September 25, 2009. I suffered a Spinal Cord Injury and Traumatic Brain Injury and was in need of a lot of help from everyone around me. My family was my greatest support and strength. My wife of almost 10 years and my 3 children gave me the desire and drive to get my physical abilities and brain function back. I had to fight the injuries that were visible along with the ones that came secondary to the Brain Injury.

Today I know I was given a second chance and after my family moved back to Florida, I gave a second chance to a 2.5 year old Australian Cattle Dog/Mix named Molly. Today Molly and I work to better each other, she helps me get up and move around even when I think I cannot. For her, I taught her that not everyone wants to hurt her.

Within the first few hours after adopting her from The Humane Society I knew there was something wrong. I thought she was just shell shocked being in there, the reality was that she was beaten and was suffered serious damage to her hip. I know what is like to be damaged and broken so it was up to me to help her heal. We truly have saved each other and I want to give that to others.

So Please Help Us Help Us and send what you can to:

Gordon Woolley

RE: Help Us Help Us

2100 112th St South #K5

Tacoma, WA 98444

Or you can contribute Online by going to PayPal and send your donation togordon.woolley@gmail.com or click on the following link:https://cms.paypal.com/cgi-bin/marketingweb?cmd=_render-content&content_ID=marketing_us%2Fsendmoney_microsite

You can also help me out by ordering anyone of the books on my Wish List:http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/1DIYBDGACCUF1/ref=cm_wl_act_vv?_encoding=UTF8&visitor-view=1&reveal

If you contribute please leave your Name, Email and/or Address and I will keep everyone informed on what is going on, with what is in the works, who is being trained, the animal’s history and who was blessed with a new lease on life.

This will be a reality; you can help it be realized sooner than later. Please give what you can.

Today is one of the days when I can not help but remember.
From an old soul, I feel you. From my life we are connected.
For a man to experience life you must know death and I am proud to die with you.
I am reborn in your laughter. I hold you in your tears.
I am your father, you are my Dad. Together we learn even when we are apart physically.
Our metaphysical connection will always be there.
When we stop living in sight we see that no one ever leaves.
I will always be with you and you with me. When a bond is formed it is never broken.
Only a broken heart can blind you, be happy we are free.
When we leave, we never go. Only in detachment you can see that we are never apart.
One man never stands alone, we stand together, free.
Free to fly, Free to love, Free to be who we want to be.
Only someone who can not see thinks they are bound, physically, mentally, emotionally, metaphysically.
When you give up everything you become everything.
Do you remember?
Remember the time when you were connected, when there were no bound, no restrictions, and no conditions?
That is why I watch children. The children know. And we force you to desert what you hold sacred.
We raise you to hold false standards, to want what is outside of yourself.
And what you will want is exactly what we made you desert.
I know, I have been there and I continue to force my will.
I know I am broken when I forget I can see.
We are taught by the broken so we teach our broken will.
It is a difficult life when you are broken, when you forget that you are light, when you forget that you are free, when you forget that the love that we share is endless.
Our love is always even when we are not.
I am honored to see you in life, to know you in death and to join you in eternity.

Captain Ed W. Freeman, United States Army, distinguished himself by numerous acts of conspicuous gallantry and extraordinary intrepidity on 14 November 1965 while serving with Company A, 229th Assault Helicopter Battalion, 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile). As a flight leader and second in command of a 16-helicopter lift unit, he supported a heavily engaged American infantry battalion at Landing Zone X-Ray in the Ia Drang Valley, Republic of Vietnam. The unit was almost out of ammunition after taking some of the heaviest casualties of the war, fighting off a relentless attack from a highly motivated, heavily armed enemy force. When the infantry commander closed the helicopter landing zone due to intense direct enemy fire, Captain Freeman risked his own life by flying his unarmed helicopter through a gauntlet of enemy fire time after time, delivering critically needed ammunition, water and medical supplies to the besieged battalion. His flights had a direct impact on the battle's outcome by providing the engaged units with timely supplies of ammunition critical to their survival, without which they would almost surely have gone down, with much greater loss of life. After medical evacuation helicopters refused to fly into the area due to intense enemy fire, Captain Freeman flew 14 separate rescue missions, providing life-saving evacuation of an estimated 30 seriously wounded soldiers -- some of whom would not have survived had he not acted. All flights were made into a small emergency landing zone within 100 to 200 meters of the defensive perimeter where heavily committed units were perilously holding off the attacking elements. Captain Freeman's selfless acts of great valor, extraordinary perseverance and intrepidity were far above and beyond the call of duty or mission and set a superb example of leadership and courage for all of his peers. Captain Freeman's extraordinary heroism and devotion to duty are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit upon himself, his unit and the United States Army.

Freeman died on August 20, 2008 due to complications from Parkinson's disease. He was buried with full military honors at the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery in Boise.

In the 2002 film We Were Soldiers, which depicted the Battle of Ia Drang, Freeman was portrayed by Mark McCracken. The post office in Freeman's hometown of McLain, Mississippi, was renamed the "Major Ed W. Freeman Post Office" in March 2009.

It is funny to see what the Media and the American people think is important. I would rather watch reports of him then the round the clock coverage of Michael Jackson

We are going to be heading out to the Puyallup Home & RV Show to do some research. Once I am done with the Military then we will be setting our new journey into motion. We are going to be relaxing for about a year then we will be selling everything and buying an RV or a Camper and traveling the country. I spoke to the kids and they love the idea. I told them that they can pick anywhere that they want to live. We figure we will be in any location for 2 - 4 weeks. We also are looking at creative places to go and things to do. I think it will be a great thing to do.

Gates Visits Soldiers at Sharp End of Conflict
Mar-10-2010 » Filed Under: 5/2 SBCT

By Jim Garamone, American Forces Press Service

FORWARD OPERATING BASE FRONTENAC, Afghanistan, March 9, 2010 – A white-painted blast wall standing in front of the 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry, headquarters here bearing the names of 22 fallen soldiers was a sobering reminder to Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates of the cost of the war.

Gates is visiting Afghanistan to get the “ground truth” directly from the soldiers at the sharp end of the spear. He visited with soldiers at this base and also traveled to Now Zad to visit Marines who are liberating Helmand province from the Taliban.

The 17th Infantry is part of the 2nd Infantry Division’s 5th Stryker Brigade based at Fort Lewis, Wash. The unit was supposed to deploy to Iraq, but President Barack Obama ordered more troops to Afghanistan, and the mission shifted. The soldiers arrived in July as the first Stryker brigade to deploy here.

And the soldiers walked into a buzz saw. The area around Frontenac was a Taliban stronghold. In their first 100 days at this former Canadian camp, 300 “significant activities” took place, covering the gamut from mines to roadside bombs to indirect fire to direct fire.

“You came into an area that was totally controlled by the Taliban,” Gates said to about 200 soldiers at the battalion headquarters. “You fought for critical battle space, you bled for it, and now you own it. And you demonstrated extraordinary courage and determination in making that happen.”

Gates said he wants to make sure that servicemembers in the fight get the tools they need to do the job. He noted he has read a memo calling for improvements to the Stryker wheeled armored vehicle to make it more effective in Afghanistan, and he is overseeing the effort to get more all-terrain mine-resistant, ambush-protected vehicles to the fight. “There are 1,000 of these in theater,” he said. “In the next month or so, we should ramp up to 750 a month.”

Servicemembers in Afghanistan are getting a lot of intelligence, surveillance and reconnaissance assets and more capabilities to counter improvised explosive devices, the secretary said. He added that he’s paying special attention to ensuring wounded servicemembers are evacuated to a medical facility within an hour after they’re hurt, which statistics show greatly improves their chances for survival. “One thing that is especially important to me [is having] enough medevac that we come as close as possible to that Golden Hour,” he said.

Gates told the servicemembers he understands the stress their families face while they’re deployed, and that he appreciates their sacrifices and support.

Serving northeast of Kandahar, the 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry, is going to play a large role in the campaign. “Once again, you will be the tip of the spear,” Gates said, “and I know you will bring the same courage and the same sense of duty to that effort that has already defined your deployment here.”

The secretary visited Regional Command South leaders before taking a V-22 Osprey tilt rotor aircraft to Frontenac. At Kandahar, he awarded Silver Star medals to Army Lt. Col. John Morgan and Army Chief Warrant Officer 3 James Wooley

hey. today is my birthday and i want 2 tell what i got 4 my b-day. ok when i got home i opened 2 presents. i got bakugan!!!!!!!! i got a whole 30-set deck of cards and 3 new bakugan with 6 new cards so i have 36 new cards! ok i also got my military i-d and an airsoft gun. me and my dad where shooting my cat (it had bb's in it =])we will vidieo tape it 2! it was fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am getting a lot better mentally but Physical and Emotional problems keep surfacing.

Physical
I have been having pain and pressure in my lower back and pain shooting down my ass cheek and down my leg all the way into my foot. It has been almost 3 months since we were blown up and we finally got around to getting it checked out. As it turns out I have a herniated disk that is pushing on my spinal cord and my S1 nerve that feeds into your sciatic nerve. I am waiting for my appointment with Neurosurgery to evaluate me for Surgery. I hope they just go for the surgery and not try a ton of alternatives in attempt to fix it. I am having trouble laying down, sitting, standing up and walking. So I would like a quick fix and no screwing around. I am tired of walking around like I got a load in my pants and I walk slow as shit, my kids were leaving me in the dust.

I did some research and found out that the operation is done as an Outpatient procedure or at most 1 day in the hospital and the recovery is 1 – 3 weeks. That is bad ass. Also I damaged my sinuses and ENT has me taking medications trying to fix it, doesn’t seem to be working too well. If the Meds don’t work then I have to go in with them and get checked out further to figure out what the hell is going on and how we can fix it.

On the lighter side of my Physical problems the swelling in my retinas seems to be going down and the Photophobia is getting better. I still need to wear Sunglasses or tinted glasses most of the day; I no longer have to wear them at night anymore. My Memory is getting a lot better. I work on it so much, I cannot stand being faulty. I still forget things but it is nowhere near as bad as it was nor as often. The TBI clinic said I scored very well on the last test that I took. I should be done with them as soon as I get my sleeping in order.

I am going through a sleep study and it seems to work some of the time. The study involves a lot of relaxation techniques and meditation, nothing new for me. I have been meditating for almost 20 years anyway. I still suffer from insomnia anywhere from 3 – 5 days out of the week but I do get a chance to rest and it feels so good when I do. The only thing that bothers me the most is the fact that I cannot do PT, with that and the meds I gained like 10 – 15 lbs since I have been back and I hate it. However I am going to start doing Yoga, I hope that that will help with my feelings of laziness. The best thing about insomnia is you have more than enough time in the day to try new things.

Emotional
First off I am so glad that I have the insight into myself to see changes in my behavior, feelings and overall mental stability. It seems that the more my mind heals the more crap surfaces. I have a case manager that explained it perfect. She said “The more my mind heals the more my world opens up, however my mind needs to learn how to process all the new information coming in”. It is now to the point where I am staying home no matter what because I do not trust myself around people now. I get enraged so fast and with cause that I will end up hurting someone.

I am defiantly blessed to have the wife that I do, she is so patient with me and knows when to pull back or when it is time to get me home. We were out today and I freaked out over nothing, it just about trashed my day. I feel bad because when I am like that my kids catch the brunt of it, and all they are only being kids. I hate it when I yell at them and thank god that I would rather destroy a stranger than physically harm my wife and kids. But I do run off at the mouth. I cannot stand feeling that rage again and knowing that all someone would have to do is slightly provoke me or if I think they thought about provoking me and I would unload on them. I get to the point where I don’t care if they are men, women, children, disabled, elderly or even a person. I just want to destroy something a car, tree, animal, house anything. I want to cause damage to something that will cause pain to another person. If I can’t hurt them I want to kill something that will cause them pain physical, emotional, spiritual, metaphysical, whatever just hurt motherfucker.

With all that going on I have enough since to stay home and book an appointment with behavioral health. I have been here before and I made it though, As I told everyone when I was a kid, I cannot control myself once I reached a certain point and I do not think in terms of right and wrong. I don’t comprehend consequences. It is not where I want to be and I have enough assets around me where I do not need to fight myself I can get help. And a big part for me is putting it down and letting people know

3RD PLT "HELLFIRE" B CO 1-17INF



Fuck I miss my Hellfire Family. It sucks to sit here safe in the states when you know that on the other side of the world your boys are fighting it out with a shitload of shady bastards. Part of me knows that I need to be here to get better, but everything that I am wants to be back there fighting side by side with them. I clench my fists and teeth every time I get an email that we have lost more soldiers in 1-17.

I would risk it all up for anyone of them, even the fuckers that I don't give a shit about cuz you know that "WE" are all "WE" got out there. I sat here on Veterans Day and watched all the commercials "Thanking our Troops" with a free doughnut, blooming onion, cup of coffee or a free food from a limited menu. Don't get me wrong it is appreciated but what the fuck do you think that supports? How about send some stuff from our home to the Troops that need the support not the ones that sleep in a nice warm bed next to there loved ones, watching TV going to the store without body armor and no weapon. Every time I got a package I felt that someone gave a damn enough to pack a box and put my name on it. That was the best feeling out there, well besides "Chasing the Monkey".

If you would like to send something, anything you can send it to the following address.


SFC Dass, Zalmen
ATTN: Any 3rd PLT Soldier
B Co 1-17INF 5/2ID
FOB Frontenac
APO AE 09355


Or if you want to take it further check out this site Any Soldier
You could also send money to my PayPal account (gordon.woolley@gmail.com) and I will forward it on to them

I fight on a constant basis with getting myself, physically and mentally in line with my previous self. The crap that I am going through pisses me off cuz my brain knows where I was and what I am capable of but reality is I am not like that right now.

Back Story

On September 23rd my vehicle was a mobility kill due to a command wire IED. The explosion was directly under where I sit. The blast pushed me up out of my hatch where I was hit in the head with 2 MK19 Ammo Cans that cut loose from the side, each weigh approx 40lbs, and was pinned down in my seat. At first glance I was fine however later on that night I started to loose my balance and coordination. It got a shit ton worse over the next 1 - 2 weeks. I was diagnosed with TBI (Traumatic brain injury ) and sent to Germany then to the States for Rehab and Recovery.

Lately
I have turned into a nocturnal creature, I do not get tired until 0500 - 0600 and if I do pass out then I sleep/lay down for the entire day. I try meditation, just laying in bed, medication, shit I even broke a long streak and tried to drink some beer. I try Hot Milk and relaxation techniques. And FUCK it doesn’t work.

On top of all that I cannot go outside without sunglasses on day or night. Due to swelling that I have in both of my eyes. I continually have pain on and off in my neck (fractured C4/C5) and lower back and pain shooting though my hip and down my leg. I am not allowed to drive a car, I am escorted at work about 98% of the time. I walk around with ALL my paperwork every day because I might forget what I need.

It sucks because I am unable to do a lot of what I once did. I have even less patience with my kids once the euphoria wore off. It is funny that some little problems with you can cause you to think your life lacks direction and there is not a way to get it back. I fight that though on a daily basis, one thing I learned over my life is that you can change everything.

I am doing better with my memory, but it only seems to be in areas that hold some sort of interest for me. anything else is either gone or I recall vague high level overview. The headaches are triggered by random sights and sounds, I am also drawing a line between the sleep and stressful situations triggering headaches. I lay on the couch just about the entire time I am at home. I realized today that, From the outside looking in, I would put money on depression.

For the most part I am separated from my wife and kids, I will get in a mood or not feel good and they will give me space and go either upstairs, downstairs, or go outside. The next thing I know is they have been gone for a long while and the only time I spoke to them was to tell them to eat, clean up, or go to bed.

Something needs to break before I do, I start getting pent up aggression, and with past track records I am no the most subtle person sharing my feelings. That is why I decided to take the first step and start something here. I need to figure new ways to do shit till I get back to what I once was, If I can even do that.

8 U.S. troops die in Afghanistan, making October worst month - World AP - MiamiHerald.com: "The 5th Brigade of more than 3,800 soldiers has been patrolling in the Arghandab Valley and other areas of southern Afghanistan. The brigade's 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry Regiment, is assigned to the Arghandab Valley, which has sustained the heaviest losses of any Stryker battalion from roadside bombs, bombs that detonate on foot patrols and small-arms fire in an area of open desert and dense foliage in irrigated farm fields."

It is almost 2am and I am sitting in a hospital room in California still waiting for a flight home. Yesterday our flight got canceled due to weather. I have been on a long trip home, I am glad I dont remember a lot of it but I do know it has been a while.
I have been sent home because I have TBI and a fractured neck. I get headaches all day and a bunch of memory loss. My short-term memory is sporadic at best. I dont know what is going to happen when I get home, I have to get a bunch of tests done to figure out what is going on with me. I was going to be flying home about 2 or 3 times already but they have been changed. I hope today is the day.